Six days left until I get to see the new doctor.
All my hopes is fading, it’s always better to expect the worse, then you don’t get disappointed.
Anyway, the training with the dog has been going really great, big progress!
We met an old lady who walked really strange, and it was dark.
Usually he would bark like he was going to die.
But, not a sound! And I was stunned!
How can anyone live like this?
I have no idea how to handle this pain, it’s worse than before and I feel like I’m slowly dying inside.
I swear, it would be better to be dead.
Zwinto is thinking.
Anyways, it’s almost one month ago I stopped with nicotine.
And whit that I have gained some weight.
But now it was just too much!
So, I changed the diet, take power walks when I can. And lift weights and the kettle bell.
But… Please lupus don’t take this away! I need to be in shape, I can’t be fat.
Nauseas from painkillers is awful, and now when I have taken the medicine for the night I cross my fingers that they won’t come up.
Johan has been gone for four days now, bah!:(
High and sleepy.
Zwinto is sleeping next to me, my love.
Oh, I have a new pain! How wonderful.
My life sucks.
Sleeping on Johan’s side, always when his gone.
And oh I have been in so much pain today, and I bought a ticket on the tramadol lottery! And I won!!!
I feel cozy and the pain is lower.
This should happen every time.
I have almost been awake for 24 hours, what is wrong with me?
I need my twelve hours of sleep and another 3-5 hours in bed before I close my eyes.
And, I have done things today! Like healthy people, I’m dying in pain, but it’s fine.
Well hello there, sleeping pills and painkillers! Lets have a party!
Everything hurts, I can’t sleep and I am so fucking tired! The pain meds just made me nauseas.
The only thing left to do is cry.
Muscle pain causes tension - tension causes more pain.
This is me right now. I can’t sleep.
The pain takes over, I’m hoping the painkillers will work; but I often can’t sleep when I’ve taken them.
1: Painkillers, I maybe just maybe can sleep. Or get nausea, vomit, itchy nose, feel high, depressed etc etc.
2: Pain, no sleep.
Oh I take number one! The roulette!
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