I was looking forward to this summer, bought dresses.
But I’m not suppose to have a summer break from plaquenil anymore.
That makes me really sad, it was the first summer I looked forward to since I got sick eight years ago. So like always this is the hardest part of the year, reading how others go swimming, are at the beach and sunbathing.
And how they love the summer, while I’m inside. Suddenly my apartment feels more like a prison, more than it’s already is.
Yes, I go outside sometimes anyway. But it’s so hot in all the clothes and people stares at me. It makes me really uncomfortably.
Well, I always have the nights.
Just when I was about to fall asleep my body said: ha! Don’t think so!
Damn this joint pain. So now I’m waiting for the painkillers to kick in. But it’s almost six in the morning, so maybe I should get up. What a joke, of course I will stay in bed.
It’s a bit lonely in the bedroom since the cat got banned. He always wake me up in the middle of the night, he sits under the window and talks. And sometimes tries to jump up. Once he failed and the curtains was on the floor.
So, I don’t want him here. I love having him and the dog in the bed, so cozy.
But the cat gets so sad when he is outside the door and he cries really loud and scratching on the door. So I “gave” him the dog, so now I have a sad dog and a happy cat.
Best of all, I can sleep in silence.
Took a walk and tried to ignore all the pain that followed with each step. Twenty minutes later I got home and took my pillows and blanket and said hello to the sofa. I have been sleeping all day, feeling awful. But, I don’t feel bad for spending my day sleeping. Has been an hard week and I need to rest.
The kidneys are leaking more. And before the test I was drinking lots of water, so I’m a bit worried.
Everything else was fine. And i am not suppose to have a break on plaquenil anymore. So, well… This summer will be hell.
Gotta love this place! Instead to sit on a hard chair for 3 hours I got a room and a cozy bed. If you’re famous and they love you, you’ll get the best. ;)
After a power nap and red bull I’m ready to take the bus to the doctor.
I don’t remember the last time I woke up at five or had makeup. Haha, it’s probably a bad idea to look awesome. But it’s fun to look healthy and happy. Instead of tired and sick.
Luckily for me my boyfriend for over two years already loves me, so I don’t have play healthy. ;)
Anyhow it’s a good doctor, and they all know me. Hopefully the kidneys are working fine and lupus sleeping.
Last year on the checkup the kidneys was working better due the medication so I’m hoping for a better result this time.
I thought that the day couldn’t get any worse.
But it could! My bike broke. My lovely old bike. :(
And when me and my friend came to the hospital we had to wait over 30 minutes. Aaaaand! They didn’t knew what tests it was, so it took them about 40 minutes to figure it out. And they said: I don’t know if it’s right, but we’ll try. After that I asked: you know one has to be frozen after? She was gone ten minutes more.
I was like: and you’re supposed to specialists?!
My joints in the left foot gave up, and the right hip.
I was so damn irritated!
But anyway we did some shopping while we were in town. And I met another friend! Yes - I do have friends.
So much fun, we had ice cream and laugh so much. The day was pretty good in the end.
And I fell asleep as soon I got home.
I’m having so much fun here! I had to wait to take some tests. And later I have to go to the hospital and take some more blood tests, because they can’t take it here.
I feel like shit, I want to be home in bed and feel sorry for myself. And on Friday I have to get up at five to take the buss to another hospital. Yes, chronic illness is so much fun!
Please kill me. Please!
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